Much time has passed since my last blog. I have been struggling with a health issue which has caused me to reevaluate my life, my purpose, my passions. What I discovered is that I haven't been spending much time on evaluating much of anything about my own life. I have always gone through life molding to the circumstances and the people around me. I hadn't even realized I'd been doing this to be quite honest.
Of course, I have always known I've been a "people pleaser." What I didn't realize is that I haven't asserted much of my own personal power in my own life but have simply molded to the power others have emitted. I find this quite sad almost pathetic. I'm a 30 something woman and I believe it's time to truly embrace living on purpose!!
I now wonder if there's a connection between my health issues and the fact that I've been living my life on cruise control. Actually, I don't wonder, I do think there's a strong connection!
I'm at home today because of my health issues and I realize I must begin taking those steps, no matter how small the step, toward the life I was meant to live. God created me with a purpose and I know that purpose isn't one of neutrality.
A great deal of time has been spent in this place of limbo, an Earthly purgatory if you will, and I'm ready to follow God's lead because I know He has a great purpose for me. I've been avoiding, or is it more like escaping, His gentle call for me. I would like to avoid hitting rock bottom before doing something about my life. I want to be the person who realizes the necessity of change before the consequences become too intense at the very bottom of the pit.
What's the first step, then? To be honest, I'm not sure but I do know that the first step will be different from what I've been doing lately. That first step could simply be this moment, blogging about my epiphanies and perspectives!
Peace~
Shabby
