Monday, February 28, 2011

Your Own Inspiration!


This photo was taken at a friend's wedding, and I look at it now and think, heck, I was cute! (I'm the smiling lady to the far left) At that particular time in my life, I was made to believe that I was the most hideous creature ever to have trod this planet when this picture was taken. Abuse, in all its forms, is a tragic and horrendous thing...it changes you on a profoundly! I was a size 10 in this picture, and I was made to feel as though I needed to go to the tent and awning store (thank you, Suzanne Sugerbaker for that quote). Yes, I know! I allowed my ex to make me feel this way, but he had me so twisted that I believed him when he said I was fat, worthless, and disgusting. Uh! What? I was darn cute and totally rockin' that dance floor (I remember seeing my ex's looks of disgust and shame that night; he wouldn't even dance with me because he was embarrassed at the way I looked...sad!). I'm so thankful my friend posted these pictures on Facebook! My ex made me throw these pictures in the trash because I wasn't good enough to keep them...

I really wish I could get one whack at my ex's family jewels sometimes (I do my best to let God take care of the vengence...oh but it would be fun to get one good kick in, you know, for therapeutic reasons!). I wish I could tell that dancing diva that she was very worthy and looked fabulous!

Wow! I just became my own inspiration! I don't have to wear a size 4 or size 6 to be worthy...I don't have to weigh 115 pounds. I give myself permission to be me and enjoy every moment life has to offer (Yes, I even give myself permission to accept my 225 body and commit to living more according to my truth and maybe I'll revisit that body from the dance floor). Maybe I'll have the chance to meet that girl once again, assuming she wasn't killed during her tumultuous and toxic relationship with her dangerous and abusive ex. I think she's been crushed and possibly buried alive, but she's there...somewhere; I have hope!

Here's to being your own inspiration!

*Cheers*

~Shabby Chic Lady

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