I feel bothered...bothered by the lack of discipline not only in my school but the society at large...bothered by the celebrity worship in this country (all I have seen on my Yahoo main page is all the Grammy shenanigans)...bothered by an anything goes mentality in all things (is it weird that a fly is hanging out my window~I'm feeling a little Amityville horror here)...I'm bothered by my self and my lack of discipline (and bothered by my don't care mentality happening right now~what's that about?)...simply stated~bothered!
I began the day positively. I worked out (Denise Austin lower body...good times), I danced, I had a good breakfast, and I was all organized for the day. I arrived at school and it was like a black veil came to cover my soul, well, my thoughts anyway...almost instantly. This could have been the consequence of having a Home Alone moment in the parking lot at work when the bag I was using for my lunch collapsed and my food dispersed among the pavement (lovely indeed). Oh, and it's SAD (Single Awareness Day)...perfect!
I do try and stay positive about holidays. I brought my students candy and I didn't complain once but asked people what their Valentine's plans were. Yet, deep down, I want a relationship. I want someone for whom I can buy a cheese-y & sappy card. I want to have Valentine's plans of my own. I try to accept life as it is, stay away from bitterness, and focus on what I do have, but I do have my moments where I simply want what I don't have...I want to attract the right person so maybe this is all a reflection on my choices?????
Ultimately, what matters is how we treated others and who we are in those reservoirs of our minds! Spouses die, boyfriends/girlfriends die so why all the worry? What will be, will be, but I still would like to meet that someone that changes life as I know it (thank you P.S. I Love You for that charming perspective). I have never experienced "love." I am fascinated by it though!
Okay, now that I have vented, maybe I can be proactive now...
Happy St. Valentine's Day~
Shabby Chic Lady
Oh, did I mention this? I didn't make the 72 hour water fast...bothered by that as well!
ReplyDeleteI understand what you mean about having really cruddy days where everything is a bother. That's how Valentine's Day was for me this year. I'm recently single after over a year and a half and I'm having difficulty acclimating to it all. It's frustrating seeing everyone so giddy. I guess I want to be happy for them but I find myself wanting to curl up in bed and eat something chocolate-ty. I hope it gets better for you though.
ReplyDeleteHi, Anonymous!! I hope it gets better for you as well...I do try to not be cynical on Valentine's Day. I gave out candy and tried to be happy for my friends & family who have a significant other! I figure loving myself is a good place to start!!! Maybe next VDay we can smile just a bit more than this one=) Stay strong and stay grateful...
ReplyDelete