Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Saturday, August 27, 2011

A Place to Communicate...

After an intensely vivd dream, I realized I need to use my blog as a place to share my thoughts and reflections about, not only myself, but my feelings and analysis about the world around me. I can use my journal for the extremely private and spiritual conversations, but I can use this public venue as a way to vent or communicate how I feel about the world around me...

To be honest, I don't have the mental energy to begin today, but I think I want to use this space more to vent about the frustrations I have with this culture, modern American politics, and women's issues regarding health, beauty, and lifestyle.

I may even create another blog for my Zumba life! My classes begin on 1 October, and I may use the blogosphere to share my Zumba experience. Hmmmmm....I will add that to my list!

Let me just say that after being sick these past 3 days, I have been watching a great deal of cable t.v. I am not impressed with many of the shows that reflect what our society is like: Toddler & Tiarras; Dance Moms; Jerseylicious, etc.

These shows really show how we as a people, as women, have devolved!

I know that I don't have many followers on this blog, but I do this for myself as a creative outlet!! If one day a following were to happen, then, I welcome that as well!

Happy Weekend~

Countdown to the Party!




Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Phew...Life in Warp Speed!

When does life become complicated? When does it go from carefree to chaotic? To be quite honest, I don't have a drama-filled life at this point. I have a job. I have a few close friends (although it seems the number shrinks from year to year). My parents are alive and thriving. I have money to pay my bills and to play (yes, I should be saving more but with the direction our economy is taking, I don't know that stressing over saving is detrimental at this point). I have two, fabulous dogs! I'm single and have the time to "work on myself." Seriously, I have a great life, yet, I find myself getting overwhelmed and frustrated with circumstances happening in my life.

I have these moments where the sense of being overwhelmed completely surrounds me and my thoughts. This feeling saturates me to my core. This is where procrastination catches up with me and realize how much time I can waste (waste not, want not).

This is where stopping becomes helpful...STOP! Pray-meditate-write-be still! I know there is a reason that I live in this era of history, but there are times I wonder if I would have been better off in the early 20th century. The 21st century life moves at warp speed, and I find myself tripping and stumbling on my own feet just to stay above the proverbial water (I don't even like to swim nor have I really learned to do so).

I must find a way to deal with this sense of being overwhelmed and accepting life's fast pace; controlling what I can when I can and surrendering when I am unable to deal with something.

Okay...enough for now. Salut!

Saturday, May 21, 2011

Graduation Robes Aren't Supposed to be Tight and What about Rude Sales Associates @ Sephora!


Today was graduation...I never thought about my robe being too tight. I have to wear my Master's regalia each year when the high school I work at has their graduation. So, I was expecting the same ol' thing when having to wear it once again today...I mean, it fit when I received it in 2006 and every year since. It's a robe; they're supposed to be bulky and eternally fitting, right? Well....not so much. I couldn't believe my regalia was snug! I felt a fool, but I remembered to try and not be self criticizing. Yeah, that didn't last long! Amazing how cruel I am to myself!! I wouldn't say the things I say to myself to my enemies, so why do I say them to myself and even out loud to anyone kind enough to listen to my ranting? I need to explore this about myself...

Also, I have noticed people treat you differently when one has a changed physical appearance! Some people are always kind and those who like you for just you, well, they treat you as they always have! But, some treat you as if you have a communicable disease. As if the fat may transfer to them, they almost shun you (think of the scene in 12 Angry Men when each of the jurors begin shunning the bigot of the group...I'm not a bigot, just chubby)! Could it be that my personality has changed as my body has morphed into its present state? Is this the cause for the public rejection...could be a piece of the puzzle, I have no doubts. Simultaneously, though, I think people are, quite frankly, that shallow and judgmental. Despite my altered perspectives and thoughts, I always make an effort to smile and strike up a conversation. Of course the tete a tete isn't always reciprocated with certain others. Instead, I receive awkward silence for my olive branch of discourse. I must be accepting of this phenomenon; I will remember those who treat me differently today because of my weight...

Even sales people at stores will treat you differently if you're overweight. I was blatantly ignored at Sephora today...I walked in and headed toward the Nars counter. No one said hello, then, I heard the, who I suppose was the, manager tell a couple of the young ladies to greet the customers. I was maybe 3 feet away from them; they walked passed me to talk to the women on the other side of the store (No, I'm not a customer, just the invisible chubby lady looking at lip gloss).

I heard one of the sales ladies tell a customer about the free makeovers they were doing. Of course, this perked my ears up because I love FREE!! I walked to the thin, tall, and blond 20-something sales associate, and I said with a smile "You're having free makeovers." She just about rolled her eyes but I could tell she put some effort into stopping herself and reluctantly told me that they were as she was walking away. She couldn't even have a face to face moment with me! As an ex sales associate for Express (and assistant manager to boot), I don't ever remember treating overweight clients this way. Even if I knew we didn't have their size, I did my best to find something for them if they asked!!! I am quite appalled at the treatment I received today! At least the associate at Victoria's Secret treated me respectfully...

Curious how only a hand full of people can make you question your self, your integrity, your right to be in their presence, your right to live in this body image driven society. This teaches me to ALWAYS be kind! Always return an effort for a little conversation. Always put judgment to the side...Always show respect (even though you may not receive it in return).

I love the quote by George Hebert, "Living well is the best revenge." I suppose I shall see the true people in my life soon enough, then (truth be told, I already know who they are)!

My prayers and good thoughts go out to those who graduated high school this day! My prayers and good thoughts go to those who treated me unkindly this day! I will begin anew...God allows us to push the reset button of our lives at any time we need to begin again! I think it's time to push mine and begin writing a new story! See you in the next blog...

Peace~

Shabby Chic Lady

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

You Don't Need All That...


I had this thought while I was reading Facebook statuses, listening to my friends and coworkers, reading magazine articles, and watching t.v. All these messages are being put out into our society (messages that people are taking to heart), and I simply don't believe that "you need all that."

I want to be an example to the people around me and the world in which I live that we simply don't need all that...we don't need the fad diets, fancy gym memberships, latest trendy clothes, blah, blah, blah! The madness is saturating our culture, our society, and we as the human race must STOP and ask ourselves, "Who am I?" "Why am I doing this? saying this?? believing this???"

When all is said and done, all we need is peace of mind; a control over our egos!

That is all...

Monday, April 18, 2011

What Great Playing!

Good Things Arriving Daily...


I'm a believer in what you send out, you get back in spades. You curse a driver who cuts you off on the interstate, and you actually bring a curse upon yourself. You take a breath and say a prayer that comes back to you as well.

Each day I'm getting better at focusing on what I want instead of what I don't want, and good things arrive daily! I'm making a concerted effort to remain present when it comes to my body and my health. And, what happens? I receive free samples and healthy living information from Patricia Bragg. Yes, I requested this information weeks (and weeks) ago, and I almost forgot I requested it from her website. A few days ago, I thought about it for a few seconds then I get the letter in the mail today!!! I am quite inspired by the message she sends, and the information she discusses are all things I've thought about for my own life, my own quest.

She continues a health crusade that her father began, and I feel that my quest doesn't seem that silly after all! She recommends advice that seems a bit "out there," but if one stops and thinks about it, the information makes sense (and could transform one's life!)....

For example: she recommends fasting once a week (still taking an apple cider vinegar tonic 3 times daily) in order to help the body cleanse and heal; choosing "clean" and organic foods (releasing fattening & greasy foods, white flour, white sugar, hydrogenated oils, fructose corn syrup, etc.); simple exercises EVERYDAY; authentic sleep; etc.

Essentially, simple! simple! simple! I have been desiring this in my life for a long time, and I'm getting the resources in order to be able to establish this in my life. Too extraordinary! God is good!

Before I part this evening, I want to wish my Catholic family a happy Holy week! I pray it's full of blessings!

~Shabby Chic Lady

Sunday, April 10, 2011

The Week Ahead...


This week should be an interesting one. I have a hair appointment on Tuesday at 7:30 in the evening (too close to bed time but it's merely a trim so shouldn't take too much time). There is the "great confession" on Thursday at my church which I think would be great to go to so I can get some spiritual monkeys off my back and maybe start going back to mass...

From haircuts to confession...equals an interesting week for me. I hope for the energy and the focus to get through this week. I'm 32 years old, and I feel at times I have the energy of a sick 90 year old. I will focus on getting more energy! Focus on the healthy and good things to do.

I actually don't feel like blogging right now...I'm too distracted...Happy Sunday!

Saturday, April 9, 2011

My New Home...



Okay, so I found this while searching "cottage homes," and I fell in love with this picture. One day, I'll be living in a cottage inspired by this picture! You don't see it in the picture, but there's a little stream that flows behind my house and the most beautiful wildflowers that cover my backyard like a colorful and thick blanket. Inside, you'll find 2 sleeping dogs in front of a roaring fire at the fireplace...Also, when you enter my home, it's a shabby chic haven full of furniture, pictures, and accents that make you feel cozy, happy, and peaceful. You'll definitely want some hot tea and good conversation.

You may call me a dreamer, but I'm not the only one=)

Adding More Shabby to My Life


A new day...full of new blessings! I woke up, fed the puppers, then, added a couple of more hours to my sleep account. Around 6:30...awake and ready for the day. I took Piper for a 45 minute walk, and it was a splendid time! Spring had most certainly arrived~a sky filled with brilliant pinks and oranges as the sun rose, birds singing their new day songs, the aroma of tulips and daffodils following us during our walk, and all the trees budding and blooming to welcome this season full of nascent possibilities!

After a sugary breakfast (cupcakes and Starbucks...enough said), I watched Voyage of the Dawn Treader (Chronicle of Narnia series). Confession, I cried like a baby when Reepicheep (a brave mouse warrior who put down his sword to enter his Lord's domain) went to Aslan's kingdom in order to see it with his own eyes...beautiful! Sadly, Hollywood left out the Lamb allusion, but at least they kept the line about Aslan being known by another name in the Pevensie's world (Earth)....

Now, I am waiting on my bookshelf to dry so I can begin antiquing it!! Another piece of my Shabby Chic life. Tonight I'm going out with a few friends from church, then, I will finish Outlander (wow! great story....this is a must read!) tonight to see how Jamie and Claire survive...

Scattered and random writing today...reflection of how I'm feeling this day I suppose.

Remember to say thank you!

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

NKOTBSB - Don't Turn Out The Lights ([Video] New Song 2011 [Full Version])



Had to post this!!!! FUNNNN!

Falls...Gets Back up Again...


Yesterday I gave in to ED's seduction, but the affair lasted for but a moment, and today I am in control!! I fell quite violently, but I'm back on my feet and ready to create this life of mine (with God by my side of course because allowing Him to be in control allows me to make the choices that will lead to my dreams!)...

I took Piper for a 30 minute walk this morning, stayed positive at work, and took both dogs for their walk at the stream. I fixed spaghetti and sauce for dinner, had some mini KitKats for dessert, and took care of a few things for work and personal. I always feel content when I do what I'm supposed to do (I feel accomplished).

I told a friend of mine of couple of weeks ago that I felt a stirring in me, and I know I'm on the right track. When I feel that stirring, I know I'm where I am meant to be on this quest of mine!!!

Looking forward to a nice evening at home~

Take care and grow where you're planted...now!

P.S. An ode to my adolescence...NKOTBSB (okay, so I didn't know who the Backstreet Boy's were till recently but I have to support my first love: NKOTB=) And, yes, I confess, I downloaded the new single on ITunes!)

Monday, April 4, 2011

【HD 720p】Joss Stone - Free Me on Dancing with the Stars 2009

A Good Day


I am enjoying this day! I began with a 20 minute walk/jog with my dog this morning; a Swing routine; and a cool down stretch to Joss Stone. I had a good breakfast, some Ricori with toast (plus some peanut butter & banana & apricot jam). I took my multivitamin and had a good lunch. I even...wait for it...fixed my dinner (steamed red potatoes with cheese and deli chicken). It was simple but homemade and yummy! I had raspberry yogurt with ground flax and walnuts for dessert!

I took my dogs for their walk near the stream and enjoyed an approaching thunderstorm on the back deck. I'm getting ready to unwind for the evening. I didn't sleep well last night; my sleeping schedule was a bit off, but I'll get back on track tonight. How I Met Your Mother comes on tonight, then, I'll be off to dream land (after reading a few pages of Claire's adventures with Jamie...Outlander...good times! SPOILER ALERT: Still can't believe she didn't choose to go back to her time!!!).

Looking forward to a calm and relaxing evening...be sure to say thank you today! Write a gratitude list...it works wonders!

Take care~

Sunday, April 3, 2011

My View...


I really do enjoy being able to look at this any time I choose!! Blessings abound!

Sunshine and My White Wicker Rocker!


What a gorgeous day! The sun is shining in all its glory while a cool, gentle breezes passes by every now and again. The stream behind my house is steadily running its course, and the dogs are basking in the sun's warmth. I couldn't ask for a better day!

I have completed 3 hours worth of grading, and I am now going to enjoy the remainder of the day!! I look forward to watching the sunset from my back deck as I rock back and forth in my white wicker rocker...I will take the time to say my thank you's and focus on the good week ahead of me. I will dwell in that special time called twilight!

The view from my office window is picturesque...the grass is boldly green and almost sparkles against the back drop of the light blue sky. The water shimmers like dancing diamonds as it flows over the rocks and tree roots. The dandelions decorate the blanket of green with their lively yellow blooms. A few trees are beginning to show their colors especially the Bradford Pear trees and their white, delicate flowers. The branches of the trees sway to and fro in the breeze bringing this masterpiece to life. Nature is a sacred gift!!

The stream keeps flowing. The trees keep growing. The flowers keep blooming. The sun keeps shining. Nature doesn't complain about its tasks nor the ebb and flows of each season. We humans could learn from her. We could learn to enjoy each moment of each season and realize that each season brings its own sets of gifts and challenges. We must be faithful in our duties and believe that the good will always come to us...

I treasure these moments where I feel at peace, where nature calms the madness of my thoughts. Savoring nature helps me to realize that life is sacred and is meant to be lived not merely tolerated. I will take this moment with me throughout the week...returning to this sacred space in my mind. I will focus my thoughts here...

Saturday, April 2, 2011

The Outlander Series


I enjoy historical fiction, so Diana's stories are great, and they have a sci-fi twist! I have quite a bit of reading to do to complete the series, but I'm looking forward to it!

The Secret...not so secret


My parents bought me the book The Secret, and I'm already half way through reading it. Essentially, ask and you shall receive as long as you believe. Christians have known this secret for a bit over 2,000 years now=) Of course, the author and her many contributors also discuss the Law of Attraction which is compared to any law such as gravity or the Earth's rotation that keeps us from spinning into the abyss. Like attracts like...therefore if one thinks he or she has bad luck, then that person will attract bad luck. If one thinks they are successful they will attract success. I believe this makes a great deal of sense...

Okay, so I tried it in Target today. I had my mind on finding the Karate Kid DVD for cheap...when I walked in the store, I didn't see the movie on the cheap-y rack, so I made way to the back of the store to the electronics section, and I didn't see the DVD there either. I continued with the shopping I needed to do (you know, cotton pads, bottled water, etc.), and on my way to the check out stand I decided to check the cheap-y rack one last time. To my "secret" joy, there it was, the only copy, The Karate Kid DVD for $5!!! I didn't give it much thought except, yeah! I can watch The Karate Kid tonight!

As I was reading The Secret, I realized I attracted that movie that I wanted to watch. It wasn't on the el cheap-o rack upon entering the store but I didn't stray from my desire to find it. I'm certain one of the sales associates restocked it, and I was the one to find it upon leaving the store...God is good=) Even in the smallest of things...

I know many people poo-poo the notion of the "Secret" because society doesn't buy into the notion of the New Age movement, but I think, based on what I've read thus far, that it's more than "new age." I think God has been teaching us this so-called Secret since the dawn of His creation...His thought...His word...we are manifestations of God's Love! Love...the secret...we simply must follow Love's direction!

Seems almost too simple, but I think there in lies the beauty of the secret, of love!! God didn't want to put us on some wild goose chase for some ancient, encrypted message...It's been there all along! I'm abundantly grateful to Him for making it so clear!!

I would recommend reading The Secret with an open mind (I know I always rename "the universe" God because that's my belief...I think God is much more personal and intimate than the "universe" that the book discusses so I read it with my lens of faith in a loving, personal God). I also recommend the Outlander series by Diana Gabaldon!!! I have just begun the time traveling journey of Claire, but I like it so far!!

Enjoy the sunset and be grateful!! Write a list of thank you's before going to bed!

Friday, April 1, 2011

A Giving in moment yet moving forward....


I'm beginning to have more good days than bad on this quest of mine, but when it's bad, it's tres bad! My need for control and self medicating can be consuming, and I still give in to ED's (Eating Disorder) food seduction. My feelings for control and comfort are the open doors that ED loves to take advantage of in order to get me entangled in that food-guilt-food cycle. The ties that bind between ED and me are beginning to unravel (slowly but unraveling nonetheless), and it seems ED is making last ditch efforts to keep me stuck in his web of sugary delights and high carb fantasies! This tete-a-tete with ED always leaves me with a sense of being stuck...you know that feeling when your car breaks down in the middle of nowhere, and you forgot your cell phone? Yeah, that kind of stuck!

Fortunately, God doesn't need cell phones or technology in order to be called upon in times of need (or being stuck). God is much stronger than God (and a lot more loving to boot); I know He's all around simply waiting on me to hand over the proverbial reigns (and the cupcakes, candy bars, french fries, etc.)! Therefore, in the midst of giving in and feeling stuck, I choose to allow God to help me through the painful parts...upset tummy, lethargy, and mind fog. I know I can begin anew! My thoughts eventually create my reality, so this time my thoughts are focused on Love...love for my God, love for myself, and love for the people around me!

Therefore, McDonald's run and gas station stops be damned! I am in control of my life, and you have no control over me...This moment is what matters and I will march onward on my quest without guilt or apprehension!

The quest continues...

~Shabby Chic Lady

Monty Python - Silly Job Interview



And, here is my welcome back video for my public speaking class...fun times!

Flight of the Conchords Ep 8 'Foux Da Fa Fa'




This will be my student's welcome back from Spring Break video!!!! Too cute! Foux de Fa Fa indeed!

Monday, February 28, 2011

Your Own Inspiration!


This photo was taken at a friend's wedding, and I look at it now and think, heck, I was cute! (I'm the smiling lady to the far left) At that particular time in my life, I was made to believe that I was the most hideous creature ever to have trod this planet when this picture was taken. Abuse, in all its forms, is a tragic and horrendous thing...it changes you on a profoundly! I was a size 10 in this picture, and I was made to feel as though I needed to go to the tent and awning store (thank you, Suzanne Sugerbaker for that quote). Yes, I know! I allowed my ex to make me feel this way, but he had me so twisted that I believed him when he said I was fat, worthless, and disgusting. Uh! What? I was darn cute and totally rockin' that dance floor (I remember seeing my ex's looks of disgust and shame that night; he wouldn't even dance with me because he was embarrassed at the way I looked...sad!). I'm so thankful my friend posted these pictures on Facebook! My ex made me throw these pictures in the trash because I wasn't good enough to keep them...

I really wish I could get one whack at my ex's family jewels sometimes (I do my best to let God take care of the vengence...oh but it would be fun to get one good kick in, you know, for therapeutic reasons!). I wish I could tell that dancing diva that she was very worthy and looked fabulous!

Wow! I just became my own inspiration! I don't have to wear a size 4 or size 6 to be worthy...I don't have to weigh 115 pounds. I give myself permission to be me and enjoy every moment life has to offer (Yes, I even give myself permission to accept my 225 body and commit to living more according to my truth and maybe I'll revisit that body from the dance floor). Maybe I'll have the chance to meet that girl once again, assuming she wasn't killed during her tumultuous and toxic relationship with her dangerous and abusive ex. I think she's been crushed and possibly buried alive, but she's there...somewhere; I have hope!

Here's to being your own inspiration!

*Cheers*

~Shabby Chic Lady

Saturday, February 26, 2011

Political Pondering Saturday...


Let's begin with the latest rise in gas prices...already $3.20 or more. In some cities in the U.S. gas prices, for regular, have gone past the $4.00 mark. I feel we're in quite an imbalanced place economically...

Finally our U.S. citizens in Libya were rescued. I think it's interesting that China and Turkey were able to get their citizens out more quickly than the U.S. Evidently the naval ship being used was stuck due to treacherous waters, yet, China and Turkey were able to rescue their citizens. The U.S. navy couldn't get their ships through treacherous waters? I don't get it? We're talking about the navy that stormed Normandy in treacherous waters! I'm truly baffled at the leadership in this country. It's as if we're taking 50 steps backwards!

I'm reading Michael Savage's book "Trickle up Poverty." I didn't realize how infiltrated our administration is with socialists! All, excuse me almost all, the czars (there's your first clue Sherlock...czars! since when does the U.S.A. have "czars?") that Obama has appointed (without congressional approval I might add) are some how linked to socialist/communist organizations. Not to mention that Obama has sought out many socialist during his lifetime for guidance and education! This is quite scary.

I also liked that Obama made a statement this week about Planned Parenthood's accomplishments. This organization was started by a woman who wanted minority population control! Planned Parenthood has also been involved in some shady dealings which I will go into another time after I've done more research on the topic. Yet, our president claims they have done much good in our society. Since when is the killing of a potential life a good thing? Just pisses me off!

I do recommend Michael Savage's book. Dr. Savage has gotten a bad rap, but if you truly listen to him, he offers solid opinions and facts about the state of our union! I still can't believe nothing has been done about his situation with England. He isn't allowed to enter that country because he's on a list of potentially dangerous people. WHAT?!? Since when did speaking one's mind become a terrorist threat?? He has never ensued violence toward people...Crazy! Absolutely nonsensical!

I must begin my day now. I have errands to run and a Starbucks trip to make. Enjoy your Satruday!

Peace~
Shabby Chic Lady

**And, no, I am not affiliated with Michael Savage! I honestly like his radio program and book.**

Thursday, February 24, 2011

My Hope...Independence & Liberty!


Here is what I do NOT want our country to move toward:

Definition of SOCIALISM

1
: any of various economic and political theories advocating collective or governmental ownership and administration of the means of production and distribution of goods
2
a : a system of society or group living in which there is no private property
b : a system or condition of society in which the means of production are owned and controlled by the state
3
: a stage of society in Marxist theory transitional between capitalism and communism and distinguished by unequal distribution of goods and pay according to work do

I DO want the liberty and independence upon which the country was founded!!! I want our Constitution to remain the living and breathing document it was always intended to be for our union. I want limited government. I want communities to be revived from their slumber! I want those who are patriots to educate themselves so they may defend boldly for what they believe!

I will make a commitment to pray everyday for the survival of this republic against those powers that would love to see it fall!

I just couldn't wait till Political Pondering Saturday!!

God bless America!

~Shabby Chic Lady

Monday, February 21, 2011

Chai Lattes & EarthFare


Looking forward to a laid back type of Monday (no mania please)...

Headed out for a spicy chai latte then going to get a few provisions at EarthFare (ever been? It's fabulous!). Then, I'll find out if Blockbuster has "Unstoppable." If not, I'll head home and relax and refresh for the rest of the week!

Hope to have more to share later...

Peace~

Shabby Chic Lady

Sunday, February 20, 2011

French Taunting - Monty Python and the Holy Grail



Enjoy the laughs! Having a very French mother, I can truly appreciate the joke!

Knowing Counterfeit!


What a splendid Sunday morning...calm, peaceful.

After taking Piper for her 2nd walk yesterday afternoon, I saw one of my neighbors and fellow dog lover. We stopped to chat, and she shared some insight with me. The insight that stands out the most is the one about how FBI agents are trained to spot counterfeit money.

Because we were discussing relationships and how we want to get married (again...we're both divorced and have survived abuse from a supposed loved one), she pointed out that you have to study the "real deal" before you can know what the counterfeit looks like. She said FBI agents are never trained with counterfeit money but with authentic currency so they're able to know counterfeit currency if they see it! The study every detail about the authentic currency profoundly and with great detail. Her point being that we must pray and focus on what we truly want in a relationship, a husband (or wife, life partner, etc.) so that we know when the "real deal" is in front of us!!! I will add that we must be our authentic selves as well or we'll never meet the person with whom we're supposed to share our lives!

I also like what she said about us "preparing our nests." I told her my concern with being too settled into my life, and that sharing it with someone will be a challenge. She was quick to point out that when you meet the right person, they'll be leading a similar life so transitioning from singleton to married woman won't be that different because I'm already preparing the nest...

I love when God decides to talk to you spontaneously! He always sends His answers and messages some how~we simply have to be awake enough to hear them!

Before I sign off, let me explain the picture (charming Ireland). On Yahoo! news, there's an article about the best places to visit if you're traveling alone (party of one, please!), and Ireland made the list! I have always been fascinated with this place. Seems the Irish have a quiet and serene life (especially those who live in the countryside). Anytime I watch a movie filmed in Ireland, I want to jump through the screen and be among those lush green rolling hills and ancient stone castles. I will go there one day! Who knows, maybe my husband waits for me among the hills and castles in a little cottage that's among a small farm....you just never know what waits for you in life!

Peace~

Shabby Chic Lady

Friday, February 18, 2011

Full Moon Lovely


On my way to a movie last night, the full moon (well, almost full) was hanging radiantly in the twilight sky...

God gives us small gifts if we simply take the time to notice them! I think especially when looking at nature, one will find beauty and grace.

I had to post one more blog before my little jaunt to see my parents. I wanted to share the horrendous dream I had of my ex-husband; I despise my dreams when his presence turns up in them. Seems ominous when he appears in the deepest part of my subconscious, but I will do my best to focus on the beauty and grace around me...I am thankful it was merely a dream!

Be sure to look up at the twilight sky tonight, for I'm certain the moon will put on a luminous show!!

Be grateful for something today.

Peace~

Shabby Chic Lady

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Swing Dancing and Sunshine!


Haven't posted in a few days, but I've been busy! I finally got shoved out of my rut, and I had things to do this week. I judged a public speaking contest at the local middle school, and I was quite impressed with their speeches and how well they expressed themselves. I had a study session for my French classes at the local coffee shop. Tonight, I think I'm going to a movie with a friend of mine.

I have exercised everyday, but I'm still holding on to a daily Cherry Coke (at least it's not 2 or 3). I want to use the winter break I have (the next 4 days...woohooo!) to try and get out of the Cherry Coke Chaos I've created for myself. I'd like to create something better!

Going on walks in the sunshine is truly good for the body & soul. I love going and sitting near the stream in my backyard. I love to just sit and be for a few moments...

The weather is predicted to be fantastic the next few days, so I am certain I will be motivated to stay motivated. I'm going to visit my parents tomorrow, so I'm looking forward to that.

Oh! I almost forgot! Swing dancing in one of my classes today was fun...we have warm-ups before students give their presentations, and I try to do some activity to get them relaxed. Today I chose Swing dancing, and they were having a good time learning the Charleston, the basic Swing, and some free style moves. I think they were shocked that their teacher can dance=) It was amusing to watch their faces when I would get into a move. Remarkable how classic music (Benny Goodman) and "old fashioned" dancing still affects the young adults of this generation!

There will be no Political Pondering Saturday for I am on vacation....stay tuned.

Peace~
Shabby Chic Lady

Monday, February 14, 2011

My Love by Sia (with Lyrics)



Happy Valentine's Day indeed! This video has so many special meanings for me...enjoy!

Venting...


I feel bothered...bothered by the lack of discipline not only in my school but the society at large...bothered by the celebrity worship in this country (all I have seen on my Yahoo main page is all the Grammy shenanigans)...bothered by an anything goes mentality in all things (is it weird that a fly is hanging out my window~I'm feeling a little Amityville horror here)...I'm bothered by my self and my lack of discipline (and bothered by my don't care mentality happening right now~what's that about?)...simply stated~bothered!

I began the day positively. I worked out (Denise Austin lower body...good times), I danced, I had a good breakfast, and I was all organized for the day. I arrived at school and it was like a black veil came to cover my soul, well, my thoughts anyway...almost instantly. This could have been the consequence of having a Home Alone moment in the parking lot at work when the bag I was using for my lunch collapsed and my food dispersed among the pavement (lovely indeed). Oh, and it's SAD (Single Awareness Day)...perfect!

I do try and stay positive about holidays. I brought my students candy and I didn't complain once but asked people what their Valentine's plans were. Yet, deep down, I want a relationship. I want someone for whom I can buy a cheese-y & sappy card. I want to have Valentine's plans of my own. I try to accept life as it is, stay away from bitterness, and focus on what I do have, but I do have my moments where I simply want what I don't have...I want to attract the right person so maybe this is all a reflection on my choices?????

Ultimately, what matters is how we treated others and who we are in those reservoirs of our minds! Spouses die, boyfriends/girlfriends die so why all the worry? What will be, will be, but I still would like to meet that someone that changes life as I know it (thank you P.S. I Love You for that charming perspective). I have never experienced "love." I am fascinated by it though!

Okay, now that I have vented, maybe I can be proactive now...

Happy St. Valentine's Day~

Shabby Chic Lady

Happy Valentine's Day...Joyeux Saint Valentin

Hope everyone has a beautiful and loving day...even if you don't have a significant other, you can celebrate love! Love makes the world go round, right? Enjoy the day!

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Little Shabby Chic Lady!

Ahhh...Good Morning!



**Chartres Cathedreal in France**

For the first time in, I bet years, I slept until 7:30 a.m. sans interruptions...that means I slept a full 8 and a half hours! Thank you, God!! Although it came with a small price...a swollen left eye. I don't think it's a sty because my eye doesn't hurt or ache. Simply looks as though someone got a good swing at me!!

I surmise I'll be wearing my glasses today! I'm still in awe of the fact that the sunshine woke me up, peacefully this morning. I haven't felt this rested upon awaking in years!! This is a true gift for me...

Sunday...the Lord's day...saddens me that this doesn't have the same meaning it did even a quarter century ago in our culture! I'm guilty of giving in to the evolution toward a more secular society. For example, I am running to Target to pick up some treats for my students then I have to do some grading. I need to make a commitment to make Sundays more sacred (including getting my ass back to mass...yep, that rhymes). I'm going to create a more sacred surrounding for Sundays which means getting all my work finished during the week and running all the errands I need to run throughout the week as well. Therefore, consequentially, I'll have Sundays for attending mass and being with people who are important to me without the fret of "Oh, I have to run here and run there then I have to grade and ... etc."

Although, I do always carry Christ in my heart never really acting any different on Sunday than I do any other day. I try to always be in His presence. I do miss Communion though...I believe I will attend a different church. My home parish doesn't feel like home any longer! There! A new commitment is in place! La vie est belle!

I'm off to enjoy this gorgeous, new day! Hope everyone will think about how they view Sunday...I think we all could benefit from allowing Sundays to be a day of worship, family, friends, and REST!!

Blessings~

Shabby Chic Lady

Saturday, February 12, 2011

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Bragg Live Foods, Bragg Apple Cider Vinegar, Bragg Liquid Aminos,Systemic Enzymes, Bragg Live Organic Food Products, Patricia Bragg, Paul Bragg, Bragg Organic Olive Oil, Bragg Salad Dressings, Bragg Seasonings, Bragg Health Products

John Denver The Wings That Fly Us Home



For someone special! x

John Denver.. My Sweet Lady.



I love this song! Happy Valentine's Day!! x

Political Pondering Saturday


Mubarak steps down from his post, and the Egyptian military takes over for him. I'm not sure how I feel about this because the military uppity-ups just may decide they enjoy the power (I pray not). I heard this morning that they plan on committing to the agreements that are in place with Israel. I hope it stays that way and that the Muslim Brotherhood doesn't have to much influence on political elections...I think Israel would be in trouble if the Brotherhood takes a foothold in Egyptian government.

Did you hear about our intelligence director??? He claimed the Muslim Brotherhood was secular...does he know the definition of secular? Secular: not relating to or concerned with religion (this is definition number 2 in Webster's dictionary) MUSLIM Brotherhood, Mr. James Clapper, this means they have allegiance to their religion!! His cronies were quick to cover his tracks with one of those "What was meant by secular..." Geesh! Sometimes I think we have one of the most incompetent governments on the planet right now!

Let's not talk about our federal budget!! I thought these newly elected Republicrats, excuse me, Demopublicans, geeze, Republicans (there we go) were going to do what the people elected them to do???? Plus, I don't hear much from the "Tea Party" right now either??? Was that a decoy? I'm glad I don't adhere to a strict allegiance to one party or the other because neither of them represent my values!

Oh and how about that really smart congressman who posted his shirtless self on Craig's List??? Really? Are people that ignorant and that vain? Makes me sick! Congratulations, Congressman Lee from New York. You are such an outstanding example of civic duty and American pride!

Those are my musings for the week. Needless to say, I'm frustrated with the direction that our country and the world seem to be taking. An invisible agenda seems to be happening...an agenda of so-called democracy and social justice for all (these words are code for the extreme left-wing ideas). I hope American citizens are paying attention and are fully aware because I believe forces are at work that want to take away our liberty and our identity as Americans (Hello! It's okay to be a proud American who realizes we've made epic mistakes but have ALWAYS strived at the idea that ALL men are equaled equal and that every citizen has the right to liberty and the PURSUIT, not guarantee, of happiness)! I hope that the D.C. politicians are listening to European politicians who are discussing the fact that socialism isn't really working out as they had planned! Stay awake, citizens!

Signing off~

Shabby Chic Lady

Enjoy the sunshine every moment you can!

Thursday, February 10, 2011

The 72 Hr H2O Fast Begins...

video

I'm not sure this video blog I made is going to upload (after all I have a 7 year old computer), but I noticed a few things as I was reviewing it...

My eyes, under them that is, look as though someone has punched me they're so dark. My coloring looks dull. Amazing how your face will reflect the bad habits of your life!

Don't worry, when I say habit, I'm not speaking of smoking or abusing alcohol, but I am talking about food, junk food! I'm slowly draining my body of life all because I won't face what the food is replacing!!

Well, this fast will, I hope, break those ravenous desires for food! For me, this is about my soul and my body. I offer this fast, firstly, to God! I know this will be an enormously challenging quest, but I know, with God's help, I can fast for 3 days. I must add that I'm fasting but still drinking water!

I have done some research on fasting, and there seems to be many benefits from this not to mention this has been done for eons for health (and spiritual) benefits. You don't know unless you try is what is said about actions never pursued, therefore, I will pursue this in hopes to be free of my unhealthy addiction (au revoir Cherry Coke) and to have a new perspective on my life!

I will let you know on Monday how this process was...

Cheers!

~Shabby Chic Lady

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Should I or Shouldn't I?


Okay, I was going to get my Zumba instructor certification in the summer after I've lost a few tons...I mean pounds, but it seems the summer dates are very limited. There is a training in mid March in a town not even 2 hours away, and I wonder should I say, weight be damned and go for the certification????

I hope there's not a weight requirement??? I mean I'm not going to be on any talk shows for my scary weight gain, but I'm a bigger gal (but I have beaucoup rhythm and love to dance!)....

I will let this marinate for a day or two and make my decision then. Stay tuned!

~Shabby Chic Lady

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

West Chazy Days


Once upon a time in a town far, far way (well, at least from East Tennessee), there lived this young lady full of naive dreams (some realistic ones) and fear. What kind of fear, you ask? The fear to enjoy her own life. The fear of a young man who manipulated her emotions and controlled most of her life. The fear of standing up for herself. The fear of thinking she was beautiful...

What's all this dramatic writing about? I found a scrapbook I began a year ago (and quickly retired from the task evidently), and I pasted a picture from my West Chazy days (middle of nowhere upstate NY), and I found myself admiring how gorgeous this young lady was then realized, "Hey, that's me!"

I have decided it's time to make up for those days where I couldn't allow myself to feel beautiful or to live in the moment. I will make the choices and think the thoughts (positive that is) she was too scared to think. I will live the life she kept in the most secret places of her heart...the life that I have always wanted to create for myself...simple, interesting, full of love from close family and sacred friendships, joyful, "light," spiritual, and ever-evolving!

Isn't it a grand gift when the unexpected, small moments become tremendously significant personal messages to the soul??!! I feel surrounded by blessings right now! Only an hour ago I was feeling frustrated and dizzied with a myriad of thoughts. Now, I feel calm and reassured!

A friend of mine posted on her Facebook page Psalm 34:4...it begins with "I sought the Lord, and He answered me..." I think this sums up my day...

~Shabby Chic Lady

A new day...


Good VERY early morning! I thought today's picture was representative of how I feel about continuing to awake in the 3 a.m. range...Once again, I was awaken at 3:30 a.m. and decided to go with it and just get out of bed instead of struggling unsuccessfully to go back to sleep! I had some ideas about my classes, so I'm going to do some work this morning and re-organize a few things. I was hoping to have a snow schedule, but it seems the weather is not supportive of that hope...

I feel guilty about my fall off of the wagon, but I must not linger on the guilt because that can lead to dangerous places, so I'm going to leave it here once I log off my blog=) I'm going to feed the dogs, do some work for my classes, then, get ready for work.

I began the day with a tablespoon of apple cider vinegar (a bit tart but tolerable), and I'm going to fix my smoothie for breakfast because it seemed to be the perfect breakfast for me!! Here's the recipe:

1 srv. organic, whey protein
6-8 o.z. orange juice (not from concentrate preferably)
1/2 banana
1/2 cup frozen broccoli (or fresh if you prefer)
1/2 cup berries (I like mixed: strawberries, blueberries, blackberries)
1 srv. ground flax (organic preferably)

Don't worry, you don't taste the broccoli=) You can use any greens but broccoli is my mood lately!

I'm continuing to read my friend's book, and it's great! The story is written so fluidly with creative and powerful words! She inspires me to continue writing this blog in hopes that my reflections & perspectives helps someone one day!

Piper is getting anxious which means she wants food in her tummy...I suppose I should go feed my gentle giant and mini monster=) My prayer today: God, thank you for this new day, a new opportunity to be a part of Your plan. Help me to get out of my own way and to turn to You when I'm tempted to use food as a replacement for what I truly desire. ~Amen

Cheers to a healthy & balanced day *clink, clink* (I'm clinking a small glass of organic apple cider vinegar;)

P.S. I think eliminating caffeine from my diet won't be as painful as I thought...it's all about eating those "real" foods and staying hydrated!!!!

~Shabby Chic Lady

Monday, February 7, 2011

OUCH! That hurt...


Falling off the proverbial wagon so quickly after feeling so inspired and motivated is quite painful! I know I should forgive myself, offer it to God, and move forward...why do I feel so stuck?

I didn't have any caffeine until an hour ago, and I really didn't feel all that badly. I think the key is real food and lots of H2O! I'm looking forward to reading Patricia Bragg.

Well, simply wanted to report to the public at large that this day wasn't as successful as originally planned, but I refuse to give up!

~Shabby Chic Lady

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Another Manic Monday...



Okay maybe manic is a bit dramatic, but I've been awake since 3:30...yes, a.m. so I do feel a bit like a maniac=) I just finished a Zumba abs session, and I feel quite energized simultaneous with my mania. I'm not sure why I awoke so early, but I accept it and will try to remain energetic throughout the day. I'll need to throw in a little Zumba as a Public Speaking warm-up...

I've decided to commit to the following for this week: (1) Abstain from soda...okay, okay Cherry Coke (2) 30 minutes of movement each day (3) Begin lessening my caffeine consumption (Please, God, protect me from detox symptoms!)

I believe these are attainable and realistic goals, and I will add a commit each week! My most difficult struggle will be abstaining from sodas, but I know I must do this because it will help with the erratic cravings for other junk! High Fructose Corn Syrup is an addictive additive that saturates our food and drink systems in the U.S. I know that if I can abstain from this chemical, then, I will feel more in control of the binges.

I know my moment of truth will occur around two in the afternoon...this is the time of day where I usually begin pining for junk food, but I need to create a plan of distraction!! I have to go grocery shopping this evening, so I DEFINITELY need to be sure I've eaten something satiating before heading out to a plethora of food choices!! Okay, so back to creating a more healthy habit instead of giving in to my desire for afternoon junk...

I definitely need to tell myself "Stop!" Once I've mentally screamed "Stop!" then I can begin rerouting the junk food thoughts. Sounds so easy, but this will be difficult. I need to be sure I don't allow these thoughts to distract me from my teaching! I have the ultimate say in what I think and what I do, so I will try to be hyper aware when 2 p.m. strikes!

I also hope and pray for protection from that pesky demon I call depression/discouragement! The abnormal need to binge on junk food is directly connected with my tendency toward depression. I will be sure to bring my herbs for mood to work so that I can take them during lunch and I hope that will aide in my cognitive distractions from junk food and discouragement...

*Takes a proverbial glass of champagne* Cheers to a normal and happy day!

~Shabby Chic Lady

Sunday, February 6, 2011

Dance Lessons


I was awoken by that familiar sound of an annoying cell phone ring tone which interrupted a dance lesson taught by Gerard Butler. I loathe technology this morning! For any lady who wants to know, Gerard is a great dancer! ;)

A new day, a gray, somber type of day by looking out my office window. Looks a bit post apocalyptic except the trees are still standing...I have a difficult time getting jazzed up for a day that begins like this. I have nothing in particular on my mind this morning except I need to get papers graded and I need to get my week organized. I am jonesing for a Starbucks coffee (Caramel Macchiato with skim milk, s'il vous plait) yet I don't want to get out of my comfy clothes (that sounds pathetic if I type it out loud)! I suppose I can make the sacrifice and put on a long sleeve t-shirt, tennis shoes (how Americaine of me) get in the car, and drive to my local SBs and order that cup full of coffee delight.

Don't get me wrong, I'm very grateful to be alive another day in a country I love with a roof over my head and 2 dogs to spoil. My life is beginning to take the shape I desire of it, but I feel absolutely unmotivated this morning. Maybe that's OKay. I guess these moments where I have carte blanche are intimidating because I haven't been good at managing my free time for the past year or so!

I know there are people in this world who would kill to be in my situation right now...the house is quiet (maybe too quiet...I don't even have the radio playing in the background and it's beginning to creep me out a little), I'm warm and safe, I am staring at a beautiful stream outside my window, there are no kids screaming, no one telling me I'm unworthy (no one to hold my hand either but that's for another blog), I'm not obliged to cook for anyone...there's just calm, quiet, and peace. Why can't I enjoy this more? Have a been so conditioned to noise and "stuff" that I am incapable of savoring these moments? I suppose many of us Westernized folk are similar in that way which is somewhat pathetic. To be able to "just be," is a gift, and I'm struggling not to return it...

This is where I need to make choices...life fulfilling choices or life draining ones. I want to make life fulfilling choices today. I'm going to finish this blog (as boring as it is), put on a long sleeve t-shirt and tennis shoes, put Piper in the car, and I'm going to enjoy the ride to SBs. I live in a charmingly beautiful part of the world and car rides are never ordinary when surrounded by mountains, farmland, and rolling hills. Once I obtain the coveted Caramel Macchiato (with skim milk...well...maybe a lemon loaf, too), I will take Piper to the park for a walk (coffee in hand of course). After my jaunt to the outside world, I'll come home, finish watching RED (funny stuff btw), and grade some papers. Once all that is accomplished...who knows...I'll decide in the moment=)

I'm looking forward to a peaceful, stress-free day, and God, thank you for that!!

~Shabby Chic Lady

Saturday, February 5, 2011

Political Pondering Saturdays...



I am in no way a political aficionado or anything, but I do like to listen to what is happening in our political world so I won't be bum-fuddled about a future world event! I am disturbed by the events happening around the world both meteorologically and politically. The riots and protests in Egypt have dominated the news world and the talk shows. The most unsettling news I heard was that the moments the riots broke out the head officials for the Egyptian army were here in the U.S. I didn't catch the reason for their U.S. visit but it does seem a bit disconcerting that they would be over here the moment a mass protest to run their president out of office occurs!!!????

Based on the news, I often wonder if some of these events aren't orchestrated by the world powers that be at the time...Plus, I think the U.S.A. needs to get back to staying out of foreign affairs unless it affects our national security! I'm also put off by the fact that the Muslim Brotherhood had a major role in the Egyptian protests. This is the same group from which Osama Bin Laden came as well as a few other Muslim extremists! Their rhetoric is about subjugation (of women mostly) and religious law. They don't care about "social justice." Social justice is thrown around, even in our country, as a way to manipulate the masses to conform to a centralized government (or way of thinking).

The true American spirit seems to be dying...slowly...dying. Do I agree with all the ways this country began? Of course not, but I do think it developed into one of the greatest nations in the world despite its flaws! We were the country that led the way in eliminating slave trades and slave ownership. We led the way in WWII to free the Jewish people. We have led the way in attempting at equality for ALL men (read the Constitution with care and context)!

I believe the independent spirit is being smothered by this notion that the "government" must take care of us from birth (even conception) to death! The fact that our new health care bill allows for an allotment of tax dollars to help Planned Parenthood infuriates me! Planned Parenthood has its roots in hate (in my opinion);

Margaret Sanger (http://www.blackgenocide.org/sanger.html) wanted a genocide of sorts for minorities in America yet the media praises this organization for its outreach to women. Does anyone remember that? Birth control is NOT for the government to decide on or provide for...this is an INDIVIDUAL choice!! The right to have an abortion should be decided by the individual states not the Federal government! Life begins at conception, and with modern science, this fact can no longer be denied by those who want to justify killing a baby!!

Socialized programs will destroy and bankrupt this country if the masses don't begin to speak! The Tea Party movement has been quite interesting, and I'm not sure I have a solid opinion on this, yet, but it does tell me that communities still have a voice, and that's where true change begins! Our country was founded as a REPUBLIC not a "democracy." The founders even warned against "democracy." Having some democratic procedures is one thing but to praise "democracy" is another! Why do we have a government with three areas of power: Legislative (The House and Congress), Judicial (The Supreme Court), and Executive (The President). This system was set up so that one part of government couldn't gain too much power...are we still learning this????

Have we not learned from the lessons taught over eons of history? I feel sometimes the great nation of the United States of America is headed toward a profound and painful fall a la The Roman Empire. This makes me sorrowful because we weren't trying to dominate the lands of the world and plant our flag on all the lands but we strive to be the best in the world, a beacon of liberty and justice for all. A model for all countries that freedom of speech, the equality of men (and women), and personal liberty mean something and can be attained! I don't want to be like other countries in this world...I want to be the exception, the role model, the teacher!

I have covered quite a span of topics, and I can be scattered in my reflections, but I will try to stay current during my Political Ponderings! Please leave me any links or reads that you feel I would benefit from, and if I have the time, I will most certainly give them a read!

Friday, February 4, 2011

White Button Down Shirts and Pink Camis




This day begins after a restful sleep (even if I did awake at 4 a.m.), and I feel very grateful for my life! Isn't that the best feeling to have? Gratefulness for no reason other than the present moment...God is good!

I began reading my friend's novel...The Seers!! I highly recommend this book!!! Start asking for it!!! I enjoy reading stories about spiritual warfare and the beyond. I think there is an entire "world" of sorts working all around us, and this story is a look into that world!

I'm getting ready to attend an ACTFL workshop which I'm looking forward to going! The focus is on teaching writing in the foreign language which for me, bien sur, is Francais! The workshop lasts till 5p.m. but I'm certain the time will quickly pass...right?

Are you curious about the adorable picture posted? That's Piper attacking her chick I bought her only 2 days ago! This is the same pup that chewed a hole in the arm of my shabby chic couch that is only 2 years old. She chewed through to the wooden frame! Someone suggested I give her to a family where she can be outside and to that person (you know who you are) I say, I don't think so! Piper may be destructive with her insatiable chewing, but I adore her. She has a sweet and loyal spirit, so I suppose I'll accept the occasional hole in my furniture...although I can't afford to replace furniture, so I may look like a miser if she continues on her chew-all-things path!

I completed a 20 minute Zumba session! I feel quite energized (and a wee bit sweaty), and I realize the importance of movement and exercise! I know this is part of my quest...incorportating exercise into everyday in order to keep depression at bay!

Oh! The title of my blog...what does it mean? I finally found a white button down shirt that fits me nicely!!! I'm wearing it to my workshop today. Sometimes clothes shopping as a size 18/20 lady can be difficult (ever wanted to punch the dressing room mirror and sob endlessly on the floor? Yeah, I've been there!), but thanks to Lane Bryant, I found a good fitting white button down shirt! And the pink cami? That's a bonus. I love finding something unexpected on the clearance rack! This light pink, cheery cami is fabulous for lounging and sleeping! Can God be present in the midst of shopping at Lane Bryant...of course He can=)

Getting ready to have flax waffles (thank you Van's) with peanut butter (organic merci beaucoup) and banana!!!! Yum...wait for it....me! Yummy! (Ode to Barney Stinson from HIMYM)...After my delicious breakfast, I'll be getting ready for my workshop. I'm grateful for an already fabulous day!

Cheers!

~Shabby Chic Lady

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Fighting The Proverbial Demons...


My personal demon: depression...I have been diagnosed with depression (more than once I might add), yet, I feel in my soul that this "depression" is more than an imbalance of chemicals in my brain! I believe this is my quest (sort of like finding the Holy Grail) in life: to conquer and manage this depression, this demon of sadness and discouragement.

I have decided to fight this without pharmaceutical chemicals. I have tried several types of antidepressants, even recently, but they turn me into this zombie, this shell of a person. When I'm on these chemicals, I don't feel like my shabby chic self... I despise this feeling! I'm going to begin taking this recovery/life long management more seriously because it saturates every part of my life, and I'm ready to move beyond this, now! There are no easy solutions to this or quick remedies in overcoming depression which I desperately wish there was! I have to acknowledge my responsibility in defeating this demon!

Just as I believe there is God, Love, I know simultaneously that there is something dark that wishes to zap that Love from one's life.
This "dark" hopes one will live their life shrouded in despair, hopelessness, and discouragement. This dark wants to distract us from love and life and hope. The dark makes simply surviving seem the best choice in living, well, I know better! I know I can live fully...

Sometimes this seems an impossible quest...I also know that with God all things ARE possible! What does this mean to me? This means that I can enjoy inner peace, I can eat in balance and health, I can be content in my own body (no matter the shape or size or weight...this is a tough one though), I can simply be...happy!

I will begin this quest not with patsies clanging coconuts but with prayer and awareness. I have been off my prescribed chemicals for over 2 weeks, so I'm going to begin retaking, CONSISTENTLY, my herbs that are meant to balance out mood. Once I have given that a few weeks, I'll make my next decision. I will commit to 30 minutes of movement EVERYDAY! Whether I take Piper for a walk or do a Zumba session, I will commit to movement! Even if I begin by doing 15 minutes of movement in the morning and 15 minutes in the afternoon, that is a step toward a new lifestyle.

I want a lifestyle that is active and interesting! I'm getting bored with this depression and binge eating! I'm ready to love moi et to be bien dans ma peau (comfortable in your own skin).

My prayer for this quest~

Lord, I am thankful You have protected me from my own choices, my unhealthy and life-draining choices. Thank you for giving me a new awareness and insight into the demons and darkness that surround me. Give me the strength and the perseverance to take on this quest towards releasing depression and unhealthy eating from my life. Help me to boldly face this new adventure in my life. Help me to act unabashedly in my endeavors! I am grateful for my life. I am grateful for Your Presence in my life.

~Amen

Thursday, January 27, 2011

Breaking Dawn I Countdown!

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Strength Training

I woke up this morning determined to complete a Biggest Loser upper body strength training routine...wow! My arms feel like mush...I guess it's been a while since I lifted my bright pink dumbbells!!!

As I was working my upper body (tricep dips, upright rows, hammer curls, etc.), I received a text that we're on a 2 hour delay, so I can now take my time this morning....

A strong cup of espresso (with a touch of 1% organic milk), read my devo, a cup of coffee (sans milk), eggs for breakfast, play time with the puppy, and time to write on my blog=)

What is the point? The point is that each morning we wake up, we never know what will happen (like a 2 hour delay), but we have a choice at every moment we breathe to commit to doing the things that keep us healthy, feed our spirit, and bring us a simple joy (espressos!). Simple...joy

I think we should bask in the moments that make us feel peaceful or calm!!

I hope everyone can have a moment of peace this day...with a myriad of global events happening such as the Tuscan tragedy, major weather events like the floods in Australia, the economic see-saw in most nations, etc. I just hope and pray that every human being can have a moment in their minds and hearts where they feel a peace and calm that can only come from one source...our Creator!

~Kimber

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

My Trip to France


I don't think I wrote about my trip to France this past summer...despite the tour being disorganized via the company we chose to use for the excursion, I had a memorable time with my high schoolers! We made the most of our whirlwind and unorganized experience. I basked in being in cities where the queens and kings of old used to reign. I felt honored to stand in the very place Saint Joan of Arc (Jeanne d'Arc) was burned at the stake for being accused of witchcraft (utter injustice since she fought so valiantly in order to crown the king of France and unite the country she deeply loved). I savored walking down cobblestone streets where Leonardo DiVinci used to roam. I delighted in learning the history of the castles and cathedrals we visited all while looking at rooms and paintings and relics of old....

All the cliche tourist attractions even made me smile...looking at the city of Paris from the top of the Eiffel Tower, having a croissant and coffee at local cafes, and shopping for pastries and trinkets.

Humility was even experienced as we walked along the D-Day beaches seeing all the remains of a war that was terribly devastating to Europe. Meeting a WWII veteran at the American Cemetery was a blessing as he told his stories of his experiences flying in planes for the allies. Meandering through the WWII museum was all too somber and melancholy...looking into the eyes of Jewish children who never had the chance to grow old and see their earthly freedom.

The memories of this trip will always be remembered....

Snow Day Reflections!

I realize more and more how much our thoughts create the life we live, the life we experience...our circumstances are a consequence of what we think (for the most part...some circumstances are beyond our control but we still have the choice of HOW we react to the out-of-control in our lives)!!!

I have joined the Biggest Loser Club, and this has been a positive & proactive move on my part. I'm reading some inspiring posts in the BLC community forums and getting some great motivation from Bob's words of wisdom! I love that you can have meals planned for the week but you can modify to your personal tastes....

I'm going to try to keep my blogs more up-to-date, but I'm not making any concrete promises because my personal journal is more important (to me) than my public blogs, but I will try to copy my blogs from the BLC site so that those who read them won't miss out if they're not a BLC member...

I'm so excited I get to paint my toes today; it's a snow day so I'm stuck in my townhouse with nothing but what I want to do today!!!!

Peace~
Kimber